Day 7 Cartoon [The Twelve Days of Christmas in June Giveaway]

Today the prize for the caption contest winner is a copy of Flare 5, which has just been released from Madcap Software. Put on your best thinking caps and go for it.

Drawn by Ben Minson. For more information about the contest, see the full details here.

Adobe RobohelpMadcap Flare

By Tom Johnson

I'm a technical writer working for the 41st Parameter in San Jose, California. I'm interested in topics related to technical writing, such as visual communication, API documentation, information architecture, web publishing, JavaScript, front-end design, content strategy, Jekyll, and more. Feel free to contact me with any questions.

  • http://user-assistance.blogspot.com/ Michael Hughes

    Reindeer not included??!! What the …?

    • http://idratherbewriting.com Tom

      Great caption, Mike. You win the contest for today.

  • Bridget

    Gee, I’d LOVE to see your fantastic online help, but since I don’t have a computer or wi-fi (duh – North Pole!) right this second, it would be AWESOME if the manual actually told me how to do something! Love, Sarcastic Santa

  • Karen

    Where’s Rudolph when I need him?

  • http://tc.eserver.org/ Geoff Sauer

    EIGHT size ‘C’ batteries?

  • Karen

    What was I thinking? I should never have upgraded!

  • Robert Stanton

    “Do not operate while impaired or under the influence of milk and cookies.”

  • http://kaledavis.com Kale

    “Spanish Only?!?” – Santa realizes hiring the cheaper elves might have been a mistake.

  • Karen

    It’s gotta be here somewhere!

  • tr

    There is no “Any” key on this thing…

  • Brian

    “This page left intentionally blank”?

  • Adam

    “Due to the economic downturn, we have moved the manual for your new X3200 Polar Sleigh online. The rest of this document is leftover X3100 instructions, but should work the same.”

  • Tommy Curnyn

    Wait a minute! There’s no such thing as someone who reads the manual.

  • http://www.virtualhold.com Jan

    Where is the stinking “On” switch?

  • Janet Brown

    “Who wrote this? It reads like it was written by my reindeer Donner and Blitzen after eating fermented hay.”

  • Roxie

    “How the Techwriter Stole Christmas”

  • Randi

    All I want to do is find out how to set the autopilot, why is it so hard to find in this darn manual.

  • Janet Brown

    “I hate it when they use 8-point serif fonts! They know I am over 50!”

  • Janet Brown

    “I don’t need an exploded view of the sleigh. I need to know how to get to the Johnson house.”

  • Roxie

    “By A. Grinch???”

  • Anonymous

    “Please to insert deer into bridle then has started deliveries for lucky children”

  • Vanessa

    Santa now regrets last night’s lavish eggnog party.

  • Mark Rudden

    “What? This thing only goes downhill? There’s gotta be a way to propel it somehow… Hey, there’s some reindeer!”

  • Mark Rudden

    “Heated seats, low-friction runners, roomy cargo area. Very nice, but where does it tell me how to operate the darn thing?

  • Randi

    The state of the economy hits the North Pole. Santa downgrades to a manual sleigh.

  • Jody

    la-la-la “Help gives Santa pause, help gives Santa pause. The Help gives Santa Claus pain.” la-la-la

  • http://j1m.net Jim Campbell

    “On Donner, On Blitzen . . . Where is the ‘On’ button?”

  • Gallagher

    “If reindeer become disengaged, contact your sled manufacturer.”

  • Roxie

    Eco-friendly reindeer power option coming soon! Contact your account executive for more information.

  • http://user-assistance.blogspot.com/ Michael Hughes

    subordinate Claus

  • CB

    What doesn’t really exist?

    A. Santa Claus
    B. Someone reading the Owner’s Manual
    C. Me winning this caption contest
    D. All of the above.

  • Craig

    I guess I should have read this before I read the Reindeer Cookbook.

  • Craig

    You leave one lump of coal for a programmer and he writes the manual in SNOBOL.

  • http://the-jerks.com Angela

    Man, I do this every year. How many changes can they make to a sleigh?

  • John Collins

    After buying his new sleigh, Santa was crestfallen to find that due to “marketing research,” the Gifter 3200 no longer supported light-speed mode, roof landings, nor live-animal propulsion.

  • John Collins

    What do you mean “Because of technological advancements, Gifter 3200 is no longer compatible with Red-nosed Reindeer”? I’ve been using Red-nosed Reindeer with my Gifters since the Rudolph v12.25 Reindeer release, and I’ve come to depend on that! I don’t want this forward looking infrared radar thingy! I want Rudolph … simple and it works.

  • John Collins

    No, no, no! I didn’t say “Rudolph, since I’m not so bright, get the guide for my sleigh tonight …”

  • Lois

    I already know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Nobody said ANYTHING about reading a manual!

  • Lois

    I knew it. LIMITED WARRANTY!

  • Gallagher

    If you exceed the maximum weight capacity for the sled, the drive function becomes disengaged.

  • Hunter

    “Congratulations on purchasing you Buick Skylark.”

  • Gallagher

    WARNING: Owner is liable for equipment failure due to (1) lack of sufficient yuletide spirit, (2) proximity to juvenile delinquency (aka “naughty” behavior), and/or (3) deficiency in owner milk and/or cookie consumption.

  • Gallagher

    Fuzzy red suit – check.
    Hand warmers – check.
    Peppermint schnapps – check.
    Unionize the team on Christmas Eve. We’ll see who’s first deer next year, Rudolph.
    Christmas spirit- CHECK!

  • Jasmine

    I’m gonna need to order more coal…

  • Sean Ercanbrack

    Santa in the beginning: Ok, touching my nose and nodding makes me go up the chimney, what does touching my hat do?

  • Murray

    Warranty valid until December 24th

  • Andrew Warren

    Index:

    candy cane
    dispenser……….57
    disposal………..58
    crash alarm……4,49,81
    cruise control…….478
    Dasher
    reins placement…321
    reward trigger….342

    What, no cup holder?

  • Joe

    Santa soon realized that the salesman’s “Easiest sled ever!” promise was simply pooh-pooh.

    And to razz Tom (a little):
    Santa finished the 472 page manual and decided right there and then that Tom Johnson was going on the naughty list.

  • Sushant Paikaray

    Is this manual meant for everyone, including me? Looks, it’s not!!

  • http://idratherbewriting.com Tom

    Great captions everyone. I liked Michael Hughes’s caption best.