Day 7 Cartoon [The Twelve Days of Christmas in June Giveaway]
June 10th, 2009 | Posted in Uncategorized 50 Comments »
Today the prize for the caption contest winner is a copy of Flare 5, which has just been released from Madcap Software. Put on your best thinking caps and go for it.
Drawn by Ben Minson. For more information about the contest, see the full details here.
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Reindeer not included??!! What the …?
Great caption, Mike. You win the contest for today.
Gee, I’d LOVE to see your fantastic online help, but since I don’t have a computer or wi-fi (duh – North Pole!) right this second, it would be AWESOME if the manual actually told me how to do something! Love, Sarcastic Santa
Where’s Rudolph when I need him?
EIGHT size ‘C’ batteries?
What was I thinking? I should never have upgraded!
“Do not operate while impaired or under the influence of milk and cookies.”
“Spanish Only?!?” – Santa realizes hiring the cheaper elves might have been a mistake.
It’s gotta be here somewhere!
There is no “Any” key on this thing…
“This page left intentionally blank”?
“Due to the economic downturn, we have moved the manual for your new X3200 Polar Sleigh online. The rest of this document is leftover X3100 instructions, but should work the same.”
Wait a minute! There’s no such thing as someone who reads the manual.
Where is the stinking “On” switch?
“Who wrote this? It reads like it was written by my reindeer Donner and Blitzen after eating fermented hay.”
“How the Techwriter Stole Christmas”
All I want to do is find out how to set the autopilot, why is it so hard to find in this darn manual.
“I hate it when they use 8-point serif fonts! They know I am over 50!”
“I don’t need an exploded view of the sleigh. I need to know how to get to the Johnson house.”
“By A. Grinch???”
“Please to insert deer into bridle then has started deliveries for lucky children”
Santa now regrets last night’s lavish eggnog party.
“What? This thing only goes downhill? There’s gotta be a way to propel it somehow… Hey, there’s some reindeer!”
“Heated seats, low-friction runners, roomy cargo area. Very nice, but where does it tell me how to operate the darn thing?
The state of the economy hits the North Pole. Santa downgrades to a manual sleigh.
la-la-la “Help gives Santa pause, help gives Santa pause. The Help gives Santa Claus pain.” la-la-la
“On Donner, On Blitzen . . . Where is the ‘On’ button?”
“If reindeer become disengaged, contact your sled manufacturer.”
Eco-friendly reindeer power option coming soon! Contact your account executive for more information.
subordinate Claus
What doesn’t really exist?
A. Santa Claus
B. Someone reading the Owner’s Manual
C. Me winning this caption contest
D. All of the above.
I guess I should have read this before I read the Reindeer Cookbook.
You leave one lump of coal for a programmer and he writes the manual in SNOBOL.
Man, I do this every year. How many changes can they make to a sleigh?
After buying his new sleigh, Santa was crestfallen to find that due to “marketing research,” the Gifter 3200 no longer supported light-speed mode, roof landings, nor live-animal propulsion.
What do you mean “Because of technological advancements, Gifter 3200 is no longer compatible with Red-nosed Reindeer”? I’ve been using Red-nosed Reindeer with my Gifters since the Rudolph v12.25 Reindeer release, and I’ve come to depend on that! I don’t want this forward looking infrared radar thingy! I want Rudolph … simple and it works.
No, no, no! I didn’t say “Rudolph, since I’m not so bright, get the guide for my sleigh tonight …”
I already know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Nobody said ANYTHING about reading a manual!
I knew it. LIMITED WARRANTY!
If you exceed the maximum weight capacity for the sled, the drive function becomes disengaged.
“Congratulations on purchasing you Buick Skylark.”
WARNING: Owner is liable for equipment failure due to (1) lack of sufficient yuletide spirit, (2) proximity to juvenile delinquency (aka “naughty” behavior), and/or (3) deficiency in owner milk and/or cookie consumption.
Fuzzy red suit – check.
Hand warmers – check.
Peppermint schnapps – check.
Unionize the team on Christmas Eve. We’ll see who’s first deer next year, Rudolph.
Christmas spirit- CHECK!
I’m gonna need to order more coal…
Santa in the beginning: Ok, touching my nose and nodding makes me go up the chimney, what does touching my hat do?
Warranty valid until December 24th
Index:
…
candy cane
dispenser……….57
disposal………..58
crash alarm……4,49,81
cruise control…….478
Dasher
reins placement…321
reward trigger….342
…
What, no cup holder?
Santa soon realized that the salesman’s “Easiest sled ever!” promise was simply pooh-pooh.
And to razz Tom (a little):
Santa finished the 472 page manual and decided right there and then that Tom Johnson was going on the naughty list.
Is this manual meant for everyone, including me? Looks, it’s not!!
Great captions everyone. I liked Michael Hughes’s caption best.